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Relationships
Why Holding On To Emotional Junk Will Hinder You
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by "Carmen miro," a Psychic Advisor on Keen*
You know that feeling. You think of that person, and immediately sadness or frustration wells up from deep within your solar plexus. You can feel the rift between you two. You can taste their displeasure on the tip of your tongue. At this point, maybe both of you are sharing this emotion. What does it mean when you are both feeling the same "bad" feelings?
Moving Forward
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This scenario is typical of an empathic bond. It doesn’t matter where the feeling originated. You both may have felt this feeling at almost the same moment. You are both sharing this negative energy and both of you are continuing to feel it, even if you are not in the same location, or aware of each other’s emotional state. And you are stuck in a negative energy feedback loop.
You may have even thought that you had fully grieved the loss of this person, but they are still in your head. Anger can often be easier to cope with than sadness. How do you get rid of these feelings, which are often felt and expressed as anger?
When you are angry with someone, stop for a minute and think:
Do I really feel anger towards this person?
Or am I angry about the situation?
If I do really feel this anger, could it be that this other person is possibly feeling the same thing?
If you discover that you really do feel angry with this person, rather than the situation, you can choose to not hold onto the feelings.
Getting Closure
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There may be no way to verify how this person feels. When you assume that they have the same feelings, you must take responsibility for holding onto this emotion. With that thought, you can start letting it go.
Sometimes people choose to hold onto negative energies and they will direct them at you. They not only feel anger instead of sadness -- they reinforce it by choosing to focus their anger on you. You have a choice to respond or not.
Why Holding On To Emotional Junk Will Hinder You: continued »
*Excerpted from the blog of "Carmen miro" from Keen
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Why Holding On To Emotional Junk Will Hinder You: Continued
You can respond to another’s anger by:
A) Choosing to continue to feel this person’s anger and redirecting it back, causing a ping-pong or bounce-back effect (which is not pleasant). Or:
B) Accepting that this person is angry and choosing to let go of their energy, by immersing yourself in your own feelings about this situation.
When you are constantly picking up bounce-back energy from others, it’s time to refocus back on yourself! Great ways to immerse yourself back into your being:
Writing
Talking with others
Meditating
Making art
Working on hobbies
Moving Forward
Still wishing he would come back? Find out if now is the time you should move on and let go. Get a Free Psychic Love Reading.
Take some time to think about why you hold onto anger that perpetuates a feedback loop. You may be trying to take your focus away from yourself, or something that is hurting you. Look into yourself, and release this person.
Forgiveness (letting go) on your part may help only up to a certain point. Sometimes other people want to hold onto as much pain as they can, as long as they can. In this situation, it is better to recognize that and move onto the next stage.
Completely disengage from this person
Many people can still feel the energy of a person even after that person has left them or they have broken up. That can be a problem, especially if there was no closure. Sometimes, one constantly tunes into this type of energy and turns it into an exchange of something more real than it actually is and it becomes obsessive. This is not helpful or productive in solving the problem.
Ask yourself whether or not you want to hold onto another’s energy, even though it may be negative. Are you attempting to choke the relationship by holding onto their anger? Or are you using these feelings to enable this person or to justify their behavior?
If you are not able to disengage from the person, recognize that you are not ready to let go, but allow yourself to open up to the possibility of finality between you both. This usually means the death of a dream, and that can be the hardest part.
Begin immersing yourself in activities and things that celebrate you
Engage in some of the activities described earlier or whatever else helps you to refocus on yourself. Then you can take a healthy step back from the relationship and see that in fact, it’s THEIR anger and YOUR choice to hold onto their anger that is keeping you stuck.
Getting Closure
Need him to tell you why your relationship ended in order to move on? Find out what's he's really feeling with a Free Psychic Love Reading.
You may even be surprised to find out what ‘letting go’ can do for you both. Perhaps that person will also forgive you, and now real healing can begin. By letting go, you will in fact, be healing someone indirectly by releasing your bond and through channeling your energy more safely.
And you never know -- perhaps this person will let go of their anger enough to allow him or her back into your life, in a workable manner. But most of all, in letting go, you allow for closure.
It’s not always worth holding on!
